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[Lightstorm]

Time I think, has come, to explain a great many things.
My absence from the site, what has been going on in my life, and who I really am.
I hope that you continue to see me as a friend after this, and that I will be able to remain on the site, but that determination requires more data then is presently available. As such, the information I will be sharing will be on a strictly optional basis.
Lets start 3 years ago, when I was 16, and I first stumbled upon this site it seems like its been forever, and it nearly has been. At that point I was at...to say, a critical juncture in my life, as a person, I was rather lost, I didn't know who, or what I was, I was a freak. I had no friends and no social life worth speaking of. I kept to myself and rarely left my room. Since then, using this site, and others, such as the Code Lyoko forums, the Petroglyph forums, and many other online locations, I slowly, and through the help of some friends and with this...experiment, I have come to realize what I am and who I am.
To put it bluntly, I'm 19 years old, not 18, I live in New York, not Maine, and I'm male to female transgender.
Sam, as a person does exist, and I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without her help. The entire experiment was her idea. The pictures are of her and yes, she does check up on this site occasionally, even though this is REALLY not her area of interest.
My real name is Wren, I'm currently living fully as a girl, and am happier with myself, and my life as a result of it. Which has contributed to my absence from this site, basically, I got a social life, I started getting friends in real life, and just now, am I finding time again to use the internet.
The other reason I've been gone, is mostly out of shame. I hate the idea of having lied to everyone. The experiment, which was to say, seeing how I liked being a girl, in a medium where my identity was unknown, was an extremely important part of my development as a person, and I wouldn't be here without that. But at the same time, it was you, and many others, who helped me realize that, a lot of you are good friends.
I hated this sham, but I understood the necessity of it. The project we'd started had a lot of work on our end, we made up journals, and diaries of experiences, compared and contrasted, and it basically allowed me to try out living as a girl, before I came out to everyone in real life, I was making sure it was what I really wanted.
But now the experiment is older. If I followed what we had established as protocol, the entire existence of this online version of Sam, would be terminated, and if I wanted to stay in the community, I'd reregister as Tsakara (yes, that is me who you were talking to on the petro forums), but I was unwilling to give up on the friends I've made, and completely replace myself in the community, and since I can't help but find myself drawn back here. I feel compelled to tell you all the truth.

I'm sorry for the deception, I can understand if you dislike me for this.

Oh and btw, my hair actually is pink; well, blonde with pink tips...and blue dreadlocks...I'll get a pic up when I find the cord for my camera, till then, I'll put up the old picture of it blue.

[Roani52]

Hmm... ok...
Well, what you do is totally up to you. If you feel fine the way you are right now, great!
A friend of me acted like he was a girl WoW gamer, with his female character Luminc (see this topic on WoW forum), for like 3 years. Recently he told some guy that he wasn't a girl after that poor guy fell in love with him/her. I thought it was funny, but that friend of me didn't since that other guy was really pissed.
What am I trying to say with this? Well, I think its kind of brave of you to tell the truth, compelled or not. Not just to a single person, but to an entire forum at once.

[The DvD]

Whew! That must have taken some courage to write down! Lots of respect for you Wren!

Figuring who and what you are can be a very hard thing, I know that firsthand (unfortunately)... It's really good to hear you have found your identity so to say, and I wish you the best of luck with what lies ahead. It's great you have a friend to help you out. Someone who will stand by you no matter what you are. Such friends are a treasure!

By the way, even though I do not really know you that well, I'm happy to see that you feel so 'at home' here to tell us about it.

[daTSchikinhed]

I agree with DvD.

I'mma still call you sam though, because it's really just easier than wren.

[SeekSomethingNew]

I dont mean to be rude, but what the hell!

Honestly, who you are online is never a reflection of who you are in real life, but you should not see this as a experiment, but more of a evolution of who you are, and thats yourself trying to make friends, and you succeeded.

[Aro]

I have a lot of respect for you. It takes a lot of guts to open up like you just did.

[Nod Strike]

It doesn't matter what you are, but who you are. You'll always be respected no matter your (deceiving ) appearance.

Also, nice way to sneak in daTS, when have you been back?

[2kool4u526]

Here's the thing
(I am not meaning this in a mean/bad way)

I...
Don't...
Care...

and the reason being is that i'm prabibly the most non-biased/racist/creep/hater/judger person in the country WORLD

I don't care who you were before, I don't care that you lied to us, I mean, I'm not gonna judge you cause your a transgender, or cause you are "different", or whatever... you're still a person... NOT an experiment, you just needed to find yourself, and you have, u still like c&c, and maybe most/all the things you did before,
but the point is... i'm not gonna judge you, the people on this forum are not gonna judge you

you have guts to come out and say this

This post has been edited by 2kool4u526: Feb 11 2010, 03:37 AM

[Scorch]

Seeing this, I've come to realize that just about everyone here doesn't really mind. We all have respect for you.

[Nod Strike]

Hmm, though now I keep getting an add for a website at the top called 'ladyboykisses.com'.

[Team Black]

Pssh, this is tibweb, we love everybody despite their quirks.. Just look at Aro

one thing though .. didn't you have a boyfriend at one point?

This post has been edited by Team Black: Feb 11 2010, 01:00 PM

[Aro]

Pssh, this is tibweb, we love everybody despite their quirks.. Just look at Aro

OH NO HE DIDN'!!

[Daroach]

I beleve there is no normal person and everyone is "different" because, (and I know I'm on the edge of the form rules), God wanted everyone to be different to teach others to respect each other and I have great respect for you.
Well Done!

[Corsair]

Yea, doesn't matter to me who you are. I pretty much assume whoever I talk to online isn't who they say they are anyway

[Team Black]

Soo.... on other forums, should we still call you 'she' since you haven't explained the situation to anyone else?
It would be sort of odd having only tibwebbers calling you 'he' on PPM and stuff..

[Lightstorm]

why would you call me he?

[Team Black]

Well to put it plainly, the english language applies he and she based on the individual's genitalia.

I disagree with the idea of being transgender, but I don't think of you any less of you because it. Life is the big 'WTF' that each of us has to go and figure out.
I mean no disrespect, but I'm not one to bend over backwards when people feel they're above rules of communication. If you're physically male I see no reason to call you "she" "her" or anything that implies that you're a gender that you're not.

My biggest reason for that, it's a little unfair to straight guys out there, who might unknowingly find you attractive, and then end up being totally embarrassed to find out that it wasn't as they thought. That's kind of like a hit below the belt just to the wrong kind of attention..

Mentally, you can be whoever the hell you want to be, that's totally fine with me. As long as you're not.. killing people or anything..

[Lightstorm]

Well to put it plainly, the english language applies he and she based on the individual's genitalia.

I disagree with the idea of being transgender, but I don't think of you any less of you because it. Life is the big 'WTF' that each of us has to go and figure out.
I mean no disrespect, but I'm not one to bend over backwards when people feel they're above rules of communication. If you're physically male I see no reason to call you "she" "her" or anything that implies that you're a gender that you're not.

My biggest reason for that, it's a little unfair to straight guys out there, who might unknowingly find you attractive, and then end up being totally embarrassed to find out that it wasn't as they thought. That's kind of like a hit below the belt just to the wrong kind of attention..

Mentally, you can be whoever the hell you want to be, that's totally fine with me. As long as you're not.. killing people or anything..

so what makes 'straight guys' comfortable is more important then what makes me comfortable?

[The DvD]

Well, (and this is actually something i wanted to include in my first post) I think you should always reveal the fact that you are a transgender before initiating in intimate contact etc. That's not only best for yourself, but also for him or her. Both parties need to be comfortable for things to work.

Team Black, if Lightstorm wants to be adressed as 'she' then I think we should do so.. especially since we're communicating over the internet here and physical matters are not important in that regard.

[Corsair]

We're communicating over the internet here and physical matters are not important in that regard.

And there you go. Here, on this forum, it doesn't matter.

I do agree with what DvD stated, be what you want but make sure people are aware in you personal, face-to-face life. A relationship like what Team Black and DvD are talking about certainly can't be done like what you did on this forum, Lightstorm.

[Lightstorm]

oh I know, and I've been in relationships in the past, and I'm in one now, Of course I make sure they're aware of what I am, normally as soon as they show interest in me, as I've said before, this forum has been an experiment.

[Team Black]

ok I'm good with that - if you want to be called she, I'm calling you she

[2kool4u526]

now i'm confused are you a he or she???

[Aro]

She's a she.

[Nod Strike]

But born a he.

Right?

[The DvD]

She was born in a male body, yes

[Roani52]

Thats a nice way to put it DvD and I think it is also the best way to put it.

[Vintriaz]

No Doubt about that Roani52.
Anyways like previouslly statted by nearly everyone else here ,Lightstorm, I'm cool with the facts & your decicions. So Yea Lightstorm your who you've always been to me virtually & i respect your choices. Hope to see you around the forums again sometime.

"I guess that human's got a quad" Random Krogan, Mass Effect 2

[2kool4u526]

And c'mon,
this is the internet, everone doesn't tell the truth

Did you know that I'm ten feet tall, weigh two-tons, breathe fire, I could eat a hammer, and take a shotgun blast standing.

This post has been edited by 2kool4u526: Mar 10 2010, 09:28 PM

[Corsair]

Well, I do, because I'm just that friggin' honest.

This post has been edited by Corsair: Mar 11 2010, 01:32 AM