Well, I'm a little lost here..., Confused and saddened, and I don't know what to say Options

[Scorch]

Today my girlfriend tells me that there is another man in her life... What am I to do?

These were her words: "Chris, You know I love you, but there is another guy I know that I like a LOT. I knew I had to tell you eventually." Eventually? So it had been going on for some time then?

I told her that I'm lost. "Why do you like him?" I asked. "Is he just better, or did I do something to dissapoint you?" She tells me that she doesn't know. Then she says she hardly knows the guy! I'm told that he's a friend of mine, but no one will tell me who. I haven't even been hinted. You know what depression is like? You can't think straight, you don't know what to do, you feel like your gut just wants to leap out, and you feel like the world is out to get you. This is what I'm mostly feeling now.

"I still like you a Lot, and I still want to be with you." She says. You just told me you liked another guy, how can I know you're not just telling me this to make me feel better? Her friends tell me that she "loves" the guy, and she's always trying to be near him. I've asked several times, "Does she truly dislike me now?" The answer has always been yes.

She tells me that she would never break up with me. Her friends tell me that she doesn't want to be with me. I know that I should believe her, but I can't. I simply can't! I am too insecure with myself, and I hate so many aspects about myself. My mind is clogged with thoughts and ideas, hatred but sadness. If I can't even trust myself, then how can I trust someone who has just told me that she's in love with a friend of mine?

I asked her a few minutes before I began writing this. "Would you ever break up with me for another man?" She said she would never break up with me, but I just need that reassurance. She tells me a different story now. "I don't know." I'm heartbroken at such a simple response!

My best friend that I have known for many years is not around to help me. Though we live in different parts of the country, he always has something to say to make me feel better during a hard time in my life. When my dad went into Iraq and nearly lost his life several times, he was there for me. He's gone now, to where I don't know.

My other friends are urging me to find out who she likes and just kill him. (Not literally.) I can't bring myself to do it. It isn't me. If she likes another man, then it's okay with me. I don't control her life, and I'm not going to stop her from what she wants. I've told her a long time ago that no matter what, even if we hated each other, that I will always be there for her if she needed help. I need help now, and she offers nothing but pain.

My friends are no help, they simply want violence. I'm a man of peace, not a man of hate. My best friend is nowhere to be found, but I think I can understand that. He has also been having problems as of late. I cannot bring myself to talk to family though too. My brother simply does not understand, and I believe my sister is too young to care. My parents simply do not listen to me and see things they want them to be.

I have spoken to several people to help me with my problem, and they have helped a little. I need more than that. I've come here with the understanding that this small community can help me. This isn't like other sites, here, people actually respect you. I find that rare today.




I'm lost and confused. I'm angered, but that is outweighed by confusion. Maybe if she had just told me why, then maybe I wouldn't be in such a state. I understand that I may be overreacting a little, and maybe this will just all blow over, but if what my heart is telling me is the truth, she doesn't want me anymore.

I trust her when she tells me that she still likes me, but I've come here with the understanding that she likes him more now. Look at me, I'm a mental mess and I've let one of the best people I have ever known slip through my fingers like water. I can't trust myself and my friends offer little help.

I want your opinions. I want to know what you think. I need advice. For once, I truly need the help of a friend I don't know.

[0warfighter0]

There are 6 billion people in the world, that's a lot of girlfriends no? I can understand it is hard to accept your girlfiend has left you but you'll get over it

[Crash]

I don't think you can really do anything, it'll be a tough time, and seeing your friend with your ex will be especially tough. I wish you goodl luck.

[Nod Strike]

Maybe she was just never for you, eh? The one that is right for you will stand by you, no matter what. You'll have to search around a little, but you can never fully trust people, until they prove they are telling the truth.

[Scorch]

Nod Strike, that's what I was thinking this morning.

[Scorch]

I found out why, I think. She said I'm too touchy for her, but I'm sure that's not the only reason. It's something I've been trying to change for years, but with what I've had to go through my entire life, it's hard.

I've asked her to give me another chance, a short time to try and change. I hope I can pull it together.

[Scorch]

Triple post, my bad.


I broke up with her this morning, and she seems happy which is how I want her to be, even if we weren't friends.

I've told her that I'll always be there for her, but how can I ever trust her again?


I'm doing well actually. Why am I not having thoughts of suicide? (I would never do said act.) I'm almost happy, but why?

[0warfighter0]

Aftershock! No just kidding

And that, was the tough time Crashking mentioned

Happy to here you're fine!

This post has been edited by 0warfighter0: Sep 14 2008, 12:22 AM

[Scorch]

I'm okay I guess. I'm just not going to let this ruin my day!

Going to Octoberfest, where the German Military Police will be keeping things "clean" on Fort Bliss.

[0warfighter0]

I'm just not going to let this ruin my day!

That's the spirit!

[Scorch]

Yeah, I had fun last night.

I'm still bummed, but it's better than depression right? lol

[Confessor]

The fact she was playing around and messing with the lives of two guys should be enough for you to reason that she is not good enough for you.

I imagine anybody decent would front up and say it's one or the other, not leave you feeling depressed because she wants the best of both worlds.

Good luck in the future, etc.

[Aro]

Girls: They Come, They Go. A Lesson that I've learned many times over. It happens, the best thing to do is forget about it and move on (I know its a lot easier said than done but its the best thing to do).

[daTSchikinhed]

Hmm.

Scorch, I actually can relate to this in a way. My fiance, at one point, was "flirting" with another guy while I'm away for MOS training. I was upset, but things worked out, and it turned out the guy actually pressured her into it. She kinda liked him, but the moment she came home to an Audi TT in her parking spot at the apartments, she completely forgot about him.

I'm not saying buy her an Audi (I did because she needed the car... and the one i found was particularly cheap), but, not everything is bad. You'll find someone new. I promise.

Mr. Moosey has spoken.

[Scorch]

Mr. Moosey has spoken, amen!

I know I will, but it'll take some time, but I'll find her.


Thank's guys, but I was too late to seek out help. Though things are fine again, and it feels a little odd being single again, but it isn't a problem.

[Aro]

How dare anyone else refer to Him as Mr. Moosey other than I!
OH NO HE DIDN'!!

This post has been edited by Aro: Sep 17 2008, 04:32 AM

[Nod Strike]

How dare anyone else refer to Him as Mr. Moosey other than I!
OH NO HE DIDN'!!

Mr. Moosey has spoken. You can't deny that.

[Scorch]

Oh Aro, you're so sweet.

Anyway, it's not like I'm going to start calling him that, I thought it was funny!