Roleplay under construction, (merged with the Ninty topic) Options

[Team Black]

hey uh, where did the roleplay go?

Just like roleplay MKI, there's become a lot of chaos and disorientation in the roleplay.
It was bound to happen, I just want to put it back on track before it gets too far.
I've set it under 'hidden', since I can't edit posts while the topic is closed. So it's really still there, even though you can't see it (Corsair, you can still see it right?)

I'm doing some hardcore editing on it, on spelling & grammar, removing the ion storm, making the characters a little more believable & less overpowered, and rewording some sections to make more sense to the reader.
TBA some entries were so grammatically bad that I didn't even take the time to read them at first. That's a big NO for us as writers: what's the point of spending the time writing, if all our readers are scared away by run ons and, bad speling, and, too many comas, and cant none even, now wat the frik the stories abut.

I know not everyone has English as a first language, but the rule holds true if you know you're going to bomb the story, please don't write.
Reading it can be just as entertaining

I know a lot of people are putting a lot of time and effort into this RP - if no one reads our roleplay because it's filled with bad writing and a boring story, then all that work has gone to waste. I'm doing what I can to edit out the garbage, so that none of the good work goes to waste

[Lightstorm]

I'm hoping you don't twist the storyline too far off from where it was as I really liked the way it was setting up.

[Vintriaz]

I made the topic 'invisible' so I can keep it open & edit it without worrying about others coming and posting.
It's all there, don't worry
And even if it was deleted, I saved the html's for each page all on my own computer.

Anything more, you can ask in the topic, so that people with similar questions won't need to ask me something I've already answered

oh sorry just that I went to look at it during lunch break & it had disapeared. Even my hyperlink In my siggy dindn't work so I was kinda wondering. Thanks for the speed up (update.) thanks again TB. sorry for wasting your time. Well now I'll have to wait 'till the repairs are complete. I think i'll go work on one of my voxels for now..

I know that all of my text, color, & size scripting will give him a headache for sure. man, sucks to be the editor i think.

This post has been edited by Vintriaz: Sep 25 2007, 03:15 AM

[Corsair]

I'm doing what I can to edit out the garbage, so that none of the good work goes to waste

Thanks Team Black

So it's really still there, even though you can't see it (Corsair, you can still see it right?)

Yes, I can, he speaks the truth!

[Nod Strike]

if all our readers are scared away by run ons and, bad speling, and, too many comas, and cant none even, now wat the frik the stories abut.

LOL. Had to be said.

Don't take it too far.

[Nintyuk]

aww come on, my charachter was really starting to get going the next thing that was going to happen was that: (only look at this if your really ipasitent, gawd i cant spell) she would be captuerd, brain washed and then sent back out commando style but at the last minuet....wait and find out!

[Lightstorm]

firefox has a spell checker.

[Nintyuk]

firefox has a spell checker.

yes but i like ie7 It looks neater, and any way i allways type up my story posts in word.

[Team Black]

I'm going to fix your spelling and grammar this time, but I really hope you can shape it up on the next time around.
No offense, I can't have something like this taking away from everyone else's work, when they take the time & effort to write their sections properly.

I'm hoping you don't twist the storyline too far off from where it was as I really liked the way it was setting up.

Don't worry about that, Lights, I won't be changing much of the actual story, just how it's played out.

For example - the artillery shell hit a MLRS in Hammerfest instead of an A-10, as all the A-10's were in the air at the time. Realistically, it's next to impossible to hit a jet in flight with an artillery shell.

I'm also taking away Kriassin's dumb mistakes. Flying a squad of A-10s in the TS storyline implies that his squadron is top-notch: not only for the piloting abilities to use such a plane efficiently against more modern designs, but also the $$ cost of flying and upkeep of these planes, because replacement parts for these planes are difficult to acquire.
His squad is valuable, therefore Kriassin himself has to have outstanding experience and judgment, and leadership skills. Having him forget to put down his landing gear makes him look like a rookie: he's out of character, and that makes the reader pretty dissatisfied.
In a way, I'm almost asking for you to overpower this guy - he knows his limits, and his whole squad are very experienced pilots.
You could also use this fact to balance him out.. He knows how good he is, and he runs his own show, kind of like an Achilles type of character.

Or if you want, I could keep him reckless for you and re-make the character into a younger guy with less experience, flying modern planes, with modifications that they put on in their garage, like a squadron of hicks or something XD

Zen is emo. I'll do my best with that, but no promises

I've only been able to edit a couple of posts so far, those are my thoughts at this point. I have an uber book report this friday, so you might not see much of me till the weekend. If you have any ideas for changes you want me to make, please post them here, and I'll see if I can add them in..
Corsair, if you have time to burn, feel free to help me out (if you haven't already)

This post has been edited by Team Black: Sep 25 2007, 11:15 PM

[Vintriaz]

[Tasteless Comment Removed]

I should know better than this. My apologies everyone.

This post has been edited by Vintriaz: Sep 27 2007, 02:59 AM

[Lightstorm]

just in response to Vintz the fleet isn't what people are making it out to be so I'll give you an overview.

there are 5 ships
five
5

not 20

Three Destroyers, Calamis Class
armed with 4 multipurpose rapid fire cannons (same as on most current destroyers) and 6 anti air batteries.

1 cruiser, Sui Class, (the Ares) armed with 6 long rang double barreled cannons (can be loaded with bursters for AA capability or HE and armor piercing). 6 metalstorm AA units

1 Battlecarrier, Vagabond Class, (The Valkyrie) armed with a compliment of 20 (normally 40) Banshee fast attack fighters (these armed with bullets and missiles, the plasma ones were all destroyed) 8 long range twin barreled railguns (can also be loaded with bursters HE and AP) and 6 metalstorm AA arrays

[Corsair]

just in response to Vintz the fleet isn't what people are making it out to be...

That being said, the snipers were not shooting at Turiguards guys. They got two kills on him, that was it (originally three, but we know how that turned out); there was other infantry squads within Hammerfest getting shot at. So it was a bit odd that Krissy got snuck out so easily by that one guy right under the sentry's noses. Infantry may be grunts but they're not dumbasses

This post has been edited by Corsair: Sep 26 2007, 03:03 AM

[Vintriaz]

only five? hmm... I was under the ussumption that there was twelve. Now i realy feel like a idiot.

I feel that the snipers would have Turiguard's & all the other infantry squads too distracted to pay much heed to a man with a wheel chair. at least at that moment anyways. That's my opinion. however as we all know, I'm crazy & stupid.

[Team Black]

Vintriaz, I don't know what you hope to accomplish with your angry PMs, threats, and anger problems. If you want any part of this roleplay, you need to act respectable and respond to criticism in a mature way.
Or, simply make your own roleplay, where you can kill your characters however you want.

You can keep your reckless piloting if you want to, but your A-10's will be replaced with regular orcas. There's no way a squadron of classic planes would last to the second tib war with Kriassin's horrible leadership skills.
It's one thing to kill off members of your squad and it's perfectly OK, but you have to do it with some dignity, or else your story will suck. You don't just have them randomly go all out suicidal against a well balanced navy, and you don't just have them blow up randomly in the air.
It's not just improbable for an artillery shell to strike a critical hit on a jet - the chances are so remote, it shouldn't even be considered possible!
Even if you had a SAM hit it, it would be fine. You don't need to invent miracles in your story to make it good - keeping it down to earth & believable does just fine

I'm not trying to be offensive, I'm helping to improve the story.

Writing is an art, not everyone is good at it. If you know you're probably going to drop a wrecking ball onto the story, then please, be content to JUST READ IT and enjoy, and give any comments you feel so inclined to leave (in blue, of course )
If I edit any of your stuff, please don't feel offended. I'm just trying to keep everything working together as smoothly as possible OK

This post has been edited by Team Black: Sep 26 2007, 03:01 AM

[Vintriaz]

*sigh* My apologies Team black I'm just loosing it i guess. do as you must. I'll try to do better in the future. again i'm sorry for being such an ignorant fool & an @$$ to you & all of the others.

[Nintyuk]

One second i hope you don't change mine too much because i kinda have my charachter wrapped up around those planes a bit. like the reason she ran to check The plane out was because it was a old plane and because it crashed, also later on the reason the cyborgs are distracted enough for her to pounce is because they don't know what there seeing because there so old and cyborgs are relitively new, and finnaly my charcter was setup nicely for her capture, but if you want to change there escape its fine because i need Snazlikoff to die before he could spill the beans on the juggernaut which is the most ovious thing to do after K.I.T.TY is re-captured by Nod. PM me if you need any advice about her and what my plans were/are.

PS:i had kinda bin setting up for what happend with the back story change. Vintrazes carachters name just gave me the idea how to introduce it in

[Nod Strike]

So what's changing with mine?

[Lightstorm]

hey corsair what ever happened to that picture of Zen you were doing?

[Corsair]

I haven't worked on it since the last time we talked about it. There's still that open gap in the back that I want to fill up with something, but I haven't really thought about what to fill it up with yet.

[Lightstorm]

just stick in one of Vintz A-10s, or an old orca, or a MSA or SOMETHING

[Corsair]

I could show you what I currently have if I haven't already

[Lightstorm]

sure PM it to me.

[Crash]

I know a lot of people are putting a lot of time and effort into this RP - if no one reads our roleplay because it's filled with bad writing and a boring story, then all that work has gone to waste. I'm doing what I can to edit out the garbage, so that none of the good work goes to waste

You should keep an unedited edition too, so people can review their earlier work if they didn't take a backup...

[Crimsonum]

A perfect roleplay will be as impossible as a total communism. AKA "perfect" world.

[Corsair]

A perfect roleplay will be as impossible as a total communism. AKA "perfect" world.

We don't want a perfect one we just want one that makes sense

[Lightstorm]

and we want to continue it so please try and hurry up with it team black.

on another note new avi and sig!! cool huh?

[Vintriaz]

I like it lights, but it'll take me some time to get used to. I realy liked the old ones. But the new ones are pretty cool as well.

[Corsair]

I like it lights, but it'll take me some time to get used to. I realy liked the old ones. But the new ones are pretty cool as well.

The sig ain't bad

[Vintriaz]

and we want to continue it so please try and hurry up with it team black.

i'm chomping at the bit to get back to work on it as well Lightstorm. However I can wait a few more days if need be. As they say, Paitence is a virture, But not like I understand any of that wisdom. oh well.

[Nintyuk]

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beeeep BOOOM!

^im going to expload if i don't get to writing^
(you know...for the Brotherhood kinda thing)
commmmme ooonnnnnnnnnnnn im dieing here
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