Roleplay under construction, (merged with the Ninty topic) Options

[Team Black]

hey uh, where did the roleplay go?

Just like roleplay MKI, there's become a lot of chaos and disorientation in the roleplay.
It was bound to happen, I just want to put it back on track before it gets too far.
I've set it under 'hidden', since I can't edit posts while the topic is closed. So it's really still there, even though you can't see it (Corsair, you can still see it right?)

I'm doing some hardcore editing on it, on spelling & grammar, removing the ion storm, making the characters a little more believable & less overpowered, and rewording some sections to make more sense to the reader.
TBA some entries were so grammatically bad that I didn't even take the time to read them at first. That's a big NO for us as writers: what's the point of spending the time writing, if all our readers are scared away by run ons and, bad speling, and, too many comas, and cant none even, now wat the frik the stories abut.

I know not everyone has English as a first language, but the rule holds true if you know you're going to bomb the story, please don't write.
Reading it can be just as entertaining

I know a lot of people are putting a lot of time and effort into this RP - if no one reads our roleplay because it's filled with bad writing and a boring story, then all that work has gone to waste. I'm doing what I can to edit out the garbage, so that none of the good work goes to waste

[Team Black]

I'm going to fix your spelling and grammar this time, but I really hope you can shape it up on the next time around.
No offense, I can't have something like this taking away from everyone else's work, when they take the time & effort to write their sections properly.

I'm hoping you don't twist the storyline too far off from where it was as I really liked the way it was setting up.

Don't worry about that, Lights, I won't be changing much of the actual story, just how it's played out.

For example - the artillery shell hit a MLRS in Hammerfest instead of an A-10, as all the A-10's were in the air at the time. Realistically, it's next to impossible to hit a jet in flight with an artillery shell.

I'm also taking away Kriassin's dumb mistakes. Flying a squad of A-10s in the TS storyline implies that his squadron is top-notch: not only for the piloting abilities to use such a plane efficiently against more modern designs, but also the $$ cost of flying and upkeep of these planes, because replacement parts for these planes are difficult to acquire.
His squad is valuable, therefore Kriassin himself has to have outstanding experience and judgment, and leadership skills. Having him forget to put down his landing gear makes him look like a rookie: he's out of character, and that makes the reader pretty dissatisfied.
In a way, I'm almost asking for you to overpower this guy - he knows his limits, and his whole squad are very experienced pilots.
You could also use this fact to balance him out.. He knows how good he is, and he runs his own show, kind of like an Achilles type of character.

Or if you want, I could keep him reckless for you and re-make the character into a younger guy with less experience, flying modern planes, with modifications that they put on in their garage, like a squadron of hicks or something XD

Zen is emo. I'll do my best with that, but no promises

I've only been able to edit a couple of posts so far, those are my thoughts at this point. I have an uber book report this friday, so you might not see much of me till the weekend. If you have any ideas for changes you want me to make, please post them here, and I'll see if I can add them in..
Corsair, if you have time to burn, feel free to help me out (if you haven't already)

This post has been edited by Team Black: Sep 25 2007, 11:15 PM